Its about making memories worth repressing
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize