Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
