Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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