the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
