I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
