Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
