There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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