would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize