Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize