Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
