Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
