absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
