Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
