Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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