we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
