you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
