I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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