508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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