Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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