remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He shit in the fireplace
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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