C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
