Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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