he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
