never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
