She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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