Im at strip club and am horny
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
