i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
