If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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