i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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