He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
How external is "for external use only"?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just want to make out with him forever
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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