I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
