It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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