i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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