I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
