I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
