Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
