Cold hands, warm shart.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
