how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
