he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
