May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize
