What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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