ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
