He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
