I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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