I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
