Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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