i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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