she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize