Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
mondays should just be called national damage control day
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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