Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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