i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
