i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
