Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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