there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You were trust falling into bushes
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