i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
