Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
