thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
