I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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