There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
