I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
